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An Interesting Exchange

Of all the responses I received to Krishna in the Sky with Diamonds, this is the most gratifying and intriguing. I at first considered it “too good to be true,” but became convinced it was not the FBI in drag when no lures into illegal activity appeared. Of course, on the internet you never know. Correspondent is apparently a 16-year-old Chinese American, whose name I have changed. No further communication has taken place, but I fervently hope the positive influence held up.

 

Sent: Sunday, May 20, 2012
Subject: take the time to read if you'd like… i would consider this very important.


Mr. Teitsworth,
    I want to let you know a bit about who i am and my background before i let you know what has been going on with me since i tried LSD for the first time on Friday, May 11th 2012. you have just inspired me… and i picked up your book today and I've only just read the introduction.

My name is Teresa, Im 16 years old. i have been through all the ups and downs you can imagine. My father was a drug dealer who shortly after my birth went to prison. My mother has raised me with a very unexpected childhood. Basically during my childhood, I had to learn how to be responsible over myself because my mom believed that work is the most important thing in her life. Ive done many drugs; marijuana, ecstasy, opiates, ADHD pills, xanax, etc. Ive attempted to run away from home but that never lasted long. I was sent away to a rehab/boarding school for 15 months in 09' or 10', I'm not quite sure but it never helped. I've seen councelors and everything possible but nothing got through to me. My family life wasn't great, and i wasn't aspired to do much with my life.

Like I said, I was with a bunch of my friends after school on friday and it ended up that their plan for the day was to trip acid. I've never done it before but I always wanted to… I've always perceived LSD as a hallucinogen you take to see things and feel good. I obviously did not do my research. I took 2 sugar cubes that night and I was with a fairly large group of friends at a house I've never been to before. All i remember from that night was that i was seeing things, everything was coming alive, and i felt sick. It was not fun. I couldn't go to sleep that night and i felt like i was dying every time i closed my eyes. I didn't go to sleep that night and on Saturday, I dropped another 1/2 cube that i split with my friend in the afternoon.

Things were better saturday, and i was seeing the visuals. Later on in the night, the dying feeling came back. I was unable to go to sleep, I couldn't think, I couldnt do anything. I ended up standing in the pouring rain at four in the morning locked out of my friends house with no where to go and a dead phone.

I know I am going on but please bear with me… I ended up going to church sunday morning and i knew something was weird. I couldn't believe that i was still on LSD. I can remember clearly that i was looking out the window and i saw a black shadow 10 feet out the window.. It looked a foot taller than a human and it had a body. i thought i was seeing things until the pastor said twenty minutes later that there were angels watching us everywhere we went and that they were about 7 ft. tall. Ive never felt the presence of a higher power before, and i knew the second i looked into the pastors eyes that there was a higher power within him.

All in all, since Sunday (mother's day) I've felt as though I've hit rock bottom and now found my purpose for life. I feel as though I've reached nirvana and eternal happiness. I feel as though I've finally found my passion for life and that is to help people. Everyone that has known me has told me they feel as though I'm not myself anymore, that i am happier and as though I've become a different person. Thats why i went to barnes and nobles today to pick up some books to dig deeper into what has come upon me. I saw your book sitting in a random shelf next to the tarot cards and i felt as though it would have some meaning and some explanation for this phenomenon that has happened. i have been highlighting pages from the book because i grasp exactly what you are saying.

Since thursday I've been writing, all my writing have related to yours in one way or another… they are closely related but yours has research behind it. mine has all been my mind just typing.

i truly as well do believe thet LSD and psychedelics lead to the open exploration of the mind and guides you in searching for the meaning of life.
thats what has happened to me.. my first time trying LSD.

please if you read this, email me back.
it would be greatly appreciated.
good luck! and continue searching!

Teresa Chan

 

On May 21, 2012, at 2:03 AM, Scott Teitsworth wrote:

Dear Teresa,

  Thank you for taking the time to write to me. It sounds like you have had an amazing experience. If it’s true, you are a very lucky person, and I congratulate you!

  There are many ways people get caught in wasting time. When you find an inspiring calling as you have, you can make every minute count. Life is so short that the sooner we can get started doing something wonderful, the better. Still, you have some years to properly prepare yourself, because you are so young. Think of yourself as rich with time to grow and become expert in living well. Know that you have everything you need already in you, and that you don’t need to burden yourself with anything that might cause an addiction problem or slow your mind down.

  I’m sure you know it isn’t safe to do anything illegal in this crazy country, nor is it safe for me to recommend it. Staying out of jail is a priority for a happy life. Please be very careful, and move away from the junk you cluttered your life up with when you were younger and unhappy. Being straight is the best high of all, if we do it right.

  I hope you will appreciate the message of my book that we can learn much from psychedelics, but then we need to use what we’ve learned to make an excellent and interesting life for ourselves and those around us. I can attest that it gets better and better when you follow your star with some good guidance and support, and break free of all crutches like drugs. It sounds like your pastor could be such a guide. I hope so. Keep looking, and sooner or later you will find one. Or two.

  Do remember, though, that a lot of people seem divine when you have been tripping, because you are seeing their divinity, but they may not have accessed it themselves. If not, they might try to take advantage of you. So be a little careful. Keep your loving heart glowing, but don’t pour it out casually.

  I am happy to be in touch with you, but I hope you can find fellowship close to where you are, in real life. Friends are the best thing we have here on Earth! But I can offer some guidance if you like, answering a few questions. You probably saw there is a lot of stuff on my website to stretch your brain on, and several of my guru’s books are superb.

  You have just found a new way of living. It takes time to adjust to it. I wish you the very best, and do let me know how you’re doing.

 

  Furthur!
  Scott

 

 

May 23:

Thank you for your words of wisdom and I will keep them close to my heart. I appreciate the email back, it means a lot to me. I realize that I am very lucky yet I still have much to learn. 

 

An reply is not needed, however if I have questions/comments... I will be sure to email back! 

Good luck! And I wish you all the best as I know you do the same.

 

Thank you again,

Teresa

 

Another quick thing, I do realize that LSD is not needed again. I have realized that returning to the life I was living will not be beneficial for me. I have quit cigarettes and strayed away from all my past addictions because like you said as well... I've realized that I can get high off of my own happiness and compassion.

 

May 23, Journey of a thousand miles:

  Dear Teresa,

  It's so great that that one step has started you on a new and very promising road. Again, I congratulate you! Please send me progress reports occasionally. There is so much tragedy in the world; we all get thirsty for true success stories. I hope you will see all your challenges from here on as opportunities to grow as a compassionate and wise human being.

  You are an awfully good writer too, so I think you should keep a journal and write some articles, at the very least.

 

  My very best wishes,

  Scott

 

Subject: Re: Journey of a thousand miles

 

Wow to hear that from a writer is really meaningful! I have already been writing and my goal was to publish it eventually when I'm ready... It's a long work in progress but I feel there is much meaning behind it. I will continue to let you know how my journey is going! I see the beauty in everything and I have a good sense that you are a very compassionate and caring person yourself. Thank you for the words of wisdom! Greatly appreciated! 

Teresa

 

 

May 23,

One reason I wasn't sure if you were who you said you were at first is that you write extremely well. I now see no reason to doubt you. Best of luck, and if you are published under a pen name, please tell me what it is so I can buy your book!

Scott

 

May 24:

I was wondering what you meant when you said you weren't sure who I was... It makes me question, who did you think I was?


May 24 On the internet, no one can tell that you’re a dog:

 

There was a cartoon many years ago, showing two dogs in front of a computer, with one saying to the other, "On the internet, nobody can tell that you're a dog." I had no idea who you were, and on the internet a person should be cautious. There are a million schemers in the Naked City. Your note seemed too good to be true, so I didn't dare believe it, though I wanted to. As I said, you write awfully well, and your change of heart in a very wonderful direction seemed almost miraculous. But now it seems like it is true, you are who you say you are, and I'm delighted that my humble book helped make a connection between two people living in different universes, and was possibly even helpful to you in a way. You have to admit, that's about all we can hope for from what we offer the world.... I should say though, that from my work as a teacher, I do hear sweet things occasionally from people who find the ideas uplifting. You are young, so you may not realize how nice it is for people to receive positive feedback about what they do, whether or not it is a big deal. Little deals are also important. We live in a world of souls hungry for appreciation and affection, but helping them is tricky and usually even impossible. I'm sure with your compassionate outlook you will make many people happier as you go through your life. I only wish everyone was like that! What a world we might have!

 

  Aum,

  Scott

 

May 26:

I understand completely! The little things in life go a long way. Giving someone a simple hug might change their outlook on the day. 

 

I was wondering If you could give me some advice on the writing process. How did you get to the point of publishing your book? How was the process for you and are there any words of advice you would give to an aspiring writer?

 

Happy memorial weekend!

I wish you the best!

Teresa

 

May 28, writing prompt:

 

  Hi Teresa,

  I'm traveling around and so can't always access my mail, but I've got a minute. You can find classes and books on writing all over the place, and they are mostly fun and helpful, but here are a couple quick tips from me. The most important thing is to write because you love a subject. Writing mirrors your spiritual path, your personal growth trajectory, so write to clarify your thoughts, and don't think about any audience. The ego wants the glory of being admired by others, but the soul seeks wisdom and knowledge, expressing itself through what it does.

  The greatest of our writers probably know they are destined to write, but most of us write for ourselves, and if anything comes of it we are just plain lucky. In my case, I never expected to get published, but my writing got better as I went along, and it led me into seldom-explored territory. The publishing part was almost accidental.

  Writing should be a byproduct of experience, not a substitute for it. John Steinbeck suggested having many different jobs as being the best preparation. Really being passionate about your interests is the best in my book. Since you have discovered your passion and compassion, you are on the right track. All your learning, all your experience, all your insights, can support your writing, so have lots of all of them.

  I never show my writing to anyone until it's almost finished. Criticism can take your heart out of it. Even mild lack of interest (very common, even if your writing is great!) is disheartening. So keep it secret until it's ready to unveil. And then expect negative reactions so you won't be hurt when you get them. Take criticism as constructive, and don't allow your feelings to be too much affected by it. I suppose hurt feelings are indicators of our hidden expectations of success, that we don't even know we have. Use them as reminders to not have expectations next time, or to minimize them. (This is a tricky subject. No expectations means you don't know what will happen in the future, but you are still passionate about doing what you're doing! Some people take it to mean they should not do anything, and that's wrong....)

  Friends will often be enthusiastic about our writing because they don't want to hurt our feelings, but the really helpful stuff is when someone dares to criticize it. So welcome criticism, but only when you've finished the lion's share of the work.

  I'm a good editor, so I write my stuff, let it sit for a few days (longer is better) and then go over it again. It's much easier to see what needs to be "fixed" when you come to it fresh. For school assignments, I would definitely write as soon as I got them, so that I could edit them later, right before they are due. Then you'll be producing great work even for random subjects. This is excellent training. Writing classes usually give prompts (write about this____), so think of your teachers as giving you prompts, instead of boring assignments.

  Don't waste time too often (sometimes is okay!). When your friends are being frivolous, you can be writing, or pondering, or uplifting someone's spirits. There is so much that needs to be done I don't know how anyone can fail to see the opportunities. Some people, though, are like domestic turkeys, who get into a corner of their pen and are too stupid to turn around. They keep trying to walk into the corner. Someone has to go out and turn them around or they will die. Don't let that happen to you! You can be the turner. Don't ever let yourself get stuck.

  If I think of anything else I'll write later, but hopefully this will help for now.

 

  Peace,

  Scott

 

 

June 12, 2012,

Hi Teresa!
  I'm wondering how your spirits are holding up with your new vision? Staying in a perfect place is never automatic; sometimes there are serious struggles, and there are always ups and downs. I definitely want to extend my support for you going in a sublime direction. The Gita calls it wending toward spiritual clarity. In other words, we wander, hopefully in the right direction. There are no straight lines in spiritual life.
  And if you are pondering additional writing practice and are so inclined, I invite you to tell a brief version of your story that could be used as a review on Amazon and other sites that peddle my book. You can be totally anonymous there. It's a very compelling and positively inspiring story. Actually, I recommend you write a version or two to keep as your personal history, as it will likely be one of the high points of your life, no matter how high it goes.... And I hope it goes through the roof!

  Best wishes,
  Scott

 

July 6:

Hi!

         Im sorry i haven't emailed back recently. I just now opened your writing tips and i happened to see this as well. My vision has become blurry, as sad as it is to say. I've been trying extremely hard to hold my head up high throughout it all but it just hasn't seemed to work. I've put writing on the back burner, not consciously however. I haven't had much inspiration to write about and I noticed quickly that my writing has become a drag… since then I haven't written much. Honestly, I just feel so lost and as much as I try to talk about this with my closest friends and family, it just seems like they always bring the subject back to them and what they are dealing with. 

         The horrible part about it is, I felt so happy when I was writing. I felt as though it were my safe place to vent and just deal with whatever I was going through. Actually now that i think about it, this is the first time i have even written down my feelings in the last couple weeks and i think i have just sparked something for myself! Im going to continue writing but in my journal and I will let you know how it goes… Even though you didn't say anything, just your email has helped me find myself just a little bit. It has sparked something for me!

 

Please let me know how you are doing and whatever endeavors you are taking on! I've noticed most of these emails have been about me. 

 

Thank you,

Teresa

 

  •  

Dear Teresa,

  What a pleasant surprise to hear from you! Though I'm sorry you are struggling right now. I know the feeling.

  Life is hard, and sometimes even our friends aren't very helpful. You have had a beautiful vision of what is possible, but there is often a setback when we return to our everyday problems and measure the difference between our ideals and where we are. But I want to assure you, rising to your ideals is what gives life meaning, and the fact that it's a challenge makes it interesting. If life was a simple mystery, we could solve it in no time, and then we'd be bored. So God is kind to make the mystery really profound.

  You are a surprisingly fine writer. I still can hardly believe you are expressing yourself so well. What you need is to gather your life together and focus--always a struggle at any age, but famous at yours. Try to be patient and go easy on yourself. Life beats up on us enough we don't have to add to it! The writing will come naturally from you when it is appropriate. You don't have to force it.

  I'm glad to be here for you to talk to, as you wish. I have been through many battles of my own, and have learned some things that might help. I have faith that you are very capable, but it doesn't hurt to have some kindly stranger to bounce your thoughts off of.

  As for me, I'm having a wonderful life, just like the movie of that title. Or better. My book isn't selling at all, but it recently got a couple of good reviews, so people may eventually discover it. I just did another radio interview that was fun. So we'll see. Luckily, my life is fulfilling enough that it doesn't matter too much.

  I should tell you, your story is sufficient to have made the whole project worthwhile. And yours isn't quite the only one I've heard, just the best so far. So I'm definitely pulling for you to succeed. I know what we want to become doesn't happen instantly, there is a lot of work to be done: hard and sometimes painful work. But you can do it, and you will be a shining light in your world, both in process and as a wise seer when you realize your goals.

  I send you my very best wishes!

 

  Aum,

  Scott

 

PS I'll be offline for a few days, but please write more when you feel like it, and I'll respond.

 

That was the end, though I’ve tried twice since to get in touch. I can only hope she found her way. Maintaining a vision over time is much more challenging than simply having one. Don’t you agree?

Scott Teitsworth

rsteitsworth(at)yahoo.com