Of all the responses
I received to Krishna in the Sky with
Diamonds, this is the most gratifying and intriguing. I at first considered
it “too good to be true,” but became convinced it was not the FBI in drag when
no lures into illegal activity appeared. Of course, on the internet you never
know. Correspondent is apparently a 16-year-old Chinese American, whose name I
have changed. No further communication has taken place, but I fervently hope
the positive influence held up.
Sent: Sunday, May 20, 2012
Subject: take the time to read if you'd like… i would consider this very
important.
Mr. Teitsworth,
I want to let you know a bit about who i am and my
background before i let you know what has been going on with me since i tried
LSD for the first time on Friday, May 11th 2012. you have just inspired me… and
i picked up your book today and I've only just read the introduction.
My name is Teresa, Im 16 years old. i have been through all the ups and downs
you can imagine. My father was a drug dealer who shortly after my birth went to
prison. My mother has raised me with a very unexpected childhood. Basically
during my childhood, I had to learn how to be responsible over myself because
my mom believed that work is the most important thing in her life. Ive done
many drugs; marijuana, ecstasy, opiates, ADHD pills, xanax, etc. Ive attempted
to run away from home but that never lasted long. I was sent away to a
rehab/boarding school for 15 months in 09' or 10', I'm not quite sure but it
never helped. I've seen councelors and everything possible but nothing got
through to me. My family life wasn't great, and i wasn't aspired to do much
with my life.
Like I said, I was with a bunch of my friends after school on friday and it
ended up that their plan for the day was to trip acid. I've never done it
before but I always wanted to… I've always perceived LSD as a hallucinogen you
take to see things and feel good. I obviously did not do my research. I took 2
sugar cubes that night and I was with a fairly large group of friends at a
house I've never been to before. All i remember from that night was that i was
seeing things, everything was coming alive, and i felt sick. It was not fun. I
couldn't go to sleep that night and i felt like i was dying every time i closed
my eyes. I didn't go to sleep that night and on Saturday, I dropped another 1/2
cube that i split with my friend in the afternoon.
Things were better saturday, and i was seeing the visuals. Later on in the
night, the dying feeling came back. I was unable to go to sleep, I couldn't
think, I couldnt do anything. I ended up standing in the pouring rain at four
in the morning locked out of my friends house with no where to go and a dead
phone.
I know I am going on but please bear with me… I ended up going to church sunday
morning and i knew something was weird. I couldn't believe that i was still on
LSD. I can remember clearly that i was looking out the window and i saw a black
shadow 10 feet out the window.. It looked a foot taller than a human and it had
a body. i thought i was seeing things until the pastor said twenty minutes
later that there were angels watching us everywhere we went and that they were
about 7 ft. tall. Ive never felt the presence of a higher power before, and i
knew the second i looked into the pastors eyes that there was a higher power
within him.
All in all, since Sunday (mother's day) I've felt as though I've hit rock
bottom and now found my purpose for life. I feel as though I've reached nirvana
and eternal happiness. I feel as though I've finally found my passion for life
and that is to help people. Everyone that has known me has told me they feel as
though I'm not myself anymore, that i am happier and as though I've become a
different person. Thats why i went to barnes and nobles today to pick up some
books to dig deeper into what has come upon me. I saw your book sitting in a
random shelf next to the tarot cards and i felt as though it would have some
meaning and some explanation for this phenomenon that has happened. i have been
highlighting pages from the book because i grasp exactly what you are saying.
Since thursday I've been writing, all my writing have related to yours in one
way or another… they are closely related but yours has research behind it. mine
has all been my mind just typing.
i truly as well do believe thet LSD and psychedelics lead to the open
exploration of the mind and guides you in searching for the meaning of life.
thats what has happened to me.. my first time trying LSD.
please if you read this, email me back.
it would be greatly appreciated.
good luck! and continue searching!
Teresa Chan
On May 21, 2012, at 2:03 AM, Scott Teitsworth wrote:
Dear Teresa,
Thank you for taking the time to write to me. It
sounds like you have had an amazing experience. If it’s true, you are a very
lucky person, and I congratulate you!
There are many ways people get caught in wasting
time. When you find an inspiring calling as you have, you can make every minute
count. Life is so short that the sooner we can get started doing something
wonderful, the better. Still, you have some years to properly prepare yourself,
because you are so young. Think of yourself as rich with time to grow and
become expert in living well. Know that you have everything you need already in
you, and that you don’t need to burden yourself with anything that might cause
an addiction problem or slow your mind down.
I’m sure you know it isn’t safe to do anything
illegal in this crazy country, nor is it safe for me to recommend it. Staying
out of jail is a priority for a happy life. Please be very careful, and move
away from the junk you cluttered your life up with when you were younger and
unhappy. Being straight is the best high of all, if we do it right.
I hope you will appreciate the message of my book that
we can learn much from psychedelics, but then we need to use what we’ve learned
to make an excellent and interesting life for ourselves and those around us. I
can attest that it gets better and better when you follow your star with some
good guidance and support, and break free of all crutches like drugs. It sounds
like your pastor could be such a guide. I hope so. Keep looking, and sooner or
later you will find one. Or two.
Do remember, though, that a lot of people seem divine
when you have been tripping, because you are seeing their divinity, but they
may not have accessed it themselves. If not, they might try to take advantage
of you. So be a little careful. Keep your loving heart glowing, but don’t pour
it out casually.
I am happy to be in touch with you, but I hope you
can find fellowship close to where you are, in real life. Friends are the best
thing we have here on Earth! But I can offer some guidance if you like,
answering a few questions. You probably saw there is a lot of stuff on my website
to stretch your brain on, and several of my guru’s books are superb.
You have just found a new way of living. It takes
time to adjust to it. I wish you the very best, and do let me know how you’re
doing.
Furthur!
Scott
May 23:
Thank you for your words of wisdom and I will keep them
close to my heart. I appreciate the email back, it means a lot to me. I realize
that I am very lucky yet I still have much to learn.
An reply is not needed, however if I have
questions/comments... I will be sure to email back!
Good luck! And I wish you all the best as I know you do the
same.
Thank you again,
Teresa
Another quick thing, I do realize that LSD is not needed
again. I have realized that returning to the life I was living will not be
beneficial for me. I have quit cigarettes and strayed away from all my past
addictions because like you said as well... I've realized that I can get high
off of my own happiness and compassion.
May 23, Journey of a thousand miles:
Dear Teresa,
It's so great that that one step has started you on a
new and very promising road. Again, I congratulate you! Please send me progress
reports occasionally. There is so much tragedy in the world; we all get thirsty
for true success stories. I hope you will see all your challenges from here on
as opportunities to grow as a compassionate and wise human being.
You are an awfully good writer too, so I think you
should keep a journal and write some articles, at the very least.
My very best wishes,
Scott
Subject: Re: Journey of a thousand miles
Wow to hear that from a writer is really meaningful! I have
already been writing and my goal was to publish it eventually when I'm ready...
It's a long work in progress but I feel there is much meaning behind it. I will
continue to let you know how my journey is going! I see the beauty in
everything and I have a good sense that you are a very compassionate and caring
person yourself. Thank you for the words of wisdom! Greatly appreciated!
Teresa
May 23,
One reason I wasn't sure if you were who you said you were
at first is that you write extremely well. I now see no reason to doubt you.
Best of luck, and if you are published under a pen name, please tell me what it
is so I can buy your book!
Scott
May 24:
I was wondering what you meant when you said you weren't
sure who I was... It makes me question, who did you think I was?
May 24 On the internet, no one can tell that you’re a dog:
There was a cartoon many years ago, showing two dogs in
front of a computer, with one saying to the other, "On the internet,
nobody can tell that you're a dog." I had no idea who you were, and on the
internet a person should be cautious. There are a million schemers in the Naked
City. Your note seemed too good to be true, so I didn't dare believe it, though
I wanted to. As I said, you write awfully well, and your change of heart in a
very wonderful direction seemed almost miraculous. But now it seems like it is
true, you are who you say you are, and I'm delighted that my humble book helped
make a connection between two people living in different universes, and was
possibly even helpful to you in a way. You have to admit, that's about all we
can hope for from what we offer the world.... I should say though, that from my
work as a teacher, I do hear sweet things occasionally from people who find the
ideas uplifting. You are young, so you may not realize how nice it is for
people to receive positive feedback about what they do, whether or not it is a
big deal. Little deals are also important. We live in a world of souls hungry
for appreciation and affection, but helping them is tricky and usually even
impossible. I'm sure with your compassionate outlook you will make many people
happier as you go through your life. I only wish everyone was like that! What a
world we might have!
Aum,
Scott
May 26:
I understand completely! The little things in life go a long
way. Giving someone a simple hug might change their outlook on the day.
I was wondering If you could give me some advice on the
writing process. How did you get to the point of publishing your book? How was
the process for you and are there any words of advice you would give to an
aspiring writer?
Happy memorial weekend!
I wish you the best!
Teresa
May 28, writing prompt:
Hi Teresa,
I'm traveling around and so can't always access my
mail, but I've got a minute. You can find classes and books on writing all over
the place, and they are mostly fun and helpful, but here are a couple quick
tips from me. The most important thing is to write because you love a subject.
Writing mirrors your spiritual path, your personal growth trajectory, so write
to clarify your thoughts, and don't think about any audience. The ego wants the
glory of being admired by others, but the soul seeks wisdom and knowledge,
expressing itself through what it does.
The greatest of our writers probably know they are
destined to write, but most of us write for ourselves, and if anything comes of
it we are just plain lucky. In my case, I never expected to get published, but
my writing got better as I went along, and it led me into seldom-explored
territory. The publishing part was almost accidental.
Writing should be a byproduct of experience, not a
substitute for it. John Steinbeck suggested having many different jobs as being
the best preparation. Really being passionate about your interests is the best
in my book. Since you have discovered your passion and compassion, you are on
the right track. All your learning, all your experience, all your insights, can
support your writing, so have lots of all of them.
I never show my writing to anyone until it's almost
finished. Criticism can take your heart out of it. Even mild lack of interest
(very common, even if your writing is great!) is disheartening. So keep it
secret until it's ready to unveil. And then expect negative reactions so you
won't be hurt when you get them. Take criticism as constructive, and don't
allow your feelings to be too much affected by it. I suppose hurt feelings are
indicators of our hidden expectations of success, that we don't even know we
have. Use them as reminders to not have expectations next time, or to minimize
them. (This is a tricky subject. No expectations means you don't know what will
happen in the future, but you are still passionate about doing what you're
doing! Some people take it to mean they should not do anything, and
that's wrong....)
Friends will often be enthusiastic about our writing
because they don't want to hurt our feelings, but the really helpful stuff is
when someone dares to criticize it. So welcome criticism, but only when you've
finished the lion's share of the work.
I'm a good editor, so I write my stuff, let it sit
for a few days (longer is better) and then go over it again. It's much easier
to see what needs to be "fixed" when you come to it fresh. For school
assignments, I would definitely write as soon as I got them, so that I could
edit them later, right before they are due. Then you'll be producing great work
even for random subjects. This is excellent training. Writing classes usually
give prompts (write about this____), so think of your teachers as giving you
prompts, instead of boring assignments.
Don't waste time too often (sometimes is okay!). When
your friends are being frivolous, you can be writing, or pondering, or uplifting
someone's spirits. There is so much that needs to be done I don't know how
anyone can fail to see the opportunities. Some people, though, are like
domestic turkeys, who get into a corner of their pen and are too stupid to turn
around. They keep trying to walk into the corner. Someone has to go out and
turn them around or they will die. Don't let that happen to you! You can be the
turner. Don't ever let yourself get stuck.
If I think of anything else I'll write later, but
hopefully this will help for now.
Peace,
Scott
June 12, 2012,
Hi Teresa!
I'm wondering how your spirits are holding up with your new vision?
Staying in a perfect place is never automatic; sometimes there are serious
struggles, and there are always ups and downs. I definitely want to extend my
support for you going in a sublime direction. The Gita calls it wending toward
spiritual clarity. In other words, we wander, hopefully in the right direction.
There are no straight lines in spiritual life.
And if you are pondering additional writing practice and are so
inclined, I invite you to tell a brief version of your story that could be used
as a review on Amazon and other sites that peddle my book. You can be totally
anonymous there. It's a very compelling and positively inspiring story.
Actually, I recommend you write a version or two to keep as your personal
history, as it will likely be one of the high points of your life, no matter
how high it goes.... And I hope it goes through the roof!
Best wishes,
Scott
July 6:
Hi!
Im
sorry i haven't emailed back recently. I just now opened your writing tips and
i happened to see this as well. My vision has become blurry, as sad as it is to
say. I've been trying extremely hard to hold my head up high throughout it all
but it just hasn't seemed to work. I've put writing on the back burner, not
consciously however. I haven't had much inspiration to write about and I
noticed quickly that my writing has become a drag… since then I haven't written
much. Honestly, I just feel so lost and as much as I try to talk about this
with my closest friends and family, it just seems like they always bring the
subject back to them and what they are dealing with.
The
horrible part about it is, I felt so happy when I was writing. I felt as though
it were my safe place to vent and just deal with whatever I was going through.
Actually now that i think about it, this is the first time i have even written
down my feelings in the last couple weeks and i think i have just sparked
something for myself! Im going to continue writing but in my journal and I will
let you know how it goes… Even though you didn't say anything, just your email
has helped me find myself just a little bit. It has sparked something for me!
Please let me know how you are doing and whatever endeavors
you are taking on! I've noticed most of these emails have been about me.
Thank you,
Teresa
Dear Teresa,
What a pleasant surprise to hear from you! Though I'm
sorry you are struggling right now. I know the feeling.
Life is hard, and sometimes even our friends aren't
very helpful. You have had a beautiful vision of what is possible, but there is
often a setback when we return to our everyday problems and measure the
difference between our ideals and where we are. But I want to assure you,
rising to your ideals is what gives life meaning, and the fact that it's a
challenge makes it interesting. If life was a simple mystery, we could solve it
in no time, and then we'd be bored. So God is kind to make the mystery really
profound.
You are a surprisingly fine writer. I still can
hardly believe you are expressing yourself so well. What you need is to gather
your life together and focus--always a struggle at any age, but famous at
yours. Try to be patient and go easy on yourself. Life beats up on us enough we
don't have to add to it! The writing will come naturally from you when it is
appropriate. You don't have to force it.
I'm glad to be here for you to talk to, as you wish.
I have been through many battles of my own, and have learned some things that
might help. I have faith that you are very capable, but it doesn't hurt to have
some kindly stranger to bounce your thoughts off of.
As for me, I'm having a wonderful life, just like the
movie of that title. Or better. My book isn't selling at all, but it recently
got a couple of good reviews, so people may eventually discover it. I just did
another radio interview that was fun. So we'll see. Luckily, my life is
fulfilling enough that it doesn't matter too much.
I should tell you, your story is sufficient to have
made the whole project worthwhile. And yours isn't quite the only one I've
heard, just the best so far. So I'm definitely pulling for you to succeed. I
know what we want to become doesn't happen instantly, there is a lot of work to
be done: hard and sometimes painful work. But you can do it, and you will be a
shining light in your world, both in process and as a wise seer when you
realize your goals.
I send you my very best wishes!
Aum,
Scott
PS I'll be offline for a few days, but please write more
when you feel like it, and I'll respond.
That was the end, though I’ve tried twice since to get
in
touch. I can only hope she found her way. Maintaining a vision over time is
much more challenging than simply having one. Don’t you agree?